


Secret for a Secret

by AlexSW97



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Azkaban, First Kiss, Hogwarts, Implied/Reference Suicide Attempt, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Raising Harry Potter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:53:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28860606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexSW97/pseuds/AlexSW97
Summary: Remus was quiet for the longest minute of Sirius’ life. Eventually, after a few tears had fallen from both of their eyes, Remus seemed to find himself in the same predicament Sirius was in, and he nodded. “Okay. I won’t tell.”“Promise?”“I promise,” Remus whispered. Sirius relaxed his grip on Remus’ wrists, but Remus didn’t pull away."How... how do I know you won’t tell?” Sirius asked, hating how pathetic his voice sounded.Remus chewed his bottom lip for a second, pain in his eyes. “I can tell you a secret too,” he suggested. “One that you can’t tell anyone either.”
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 26
Kudos: 189





	Secret for a Secret

**November 1972; Age 12 & 13**

Sirius had developed a habit of crawling into Remus’ bed. Anytime Remus was reading or working on homework, Sirius would find himself climbing onto the bed and closing the curtains, cutting the rest of the world off. 

Remus didn’t seem to mind, as long as Sirius wasn’t distracting him. In fact, he more often than not left space for Sirius, or left his bed curtains open just a bit. Sometimes, if Sirius was lucky, Remus would read to him until he fell asleep. If Sirius was  _ really  _ lucky, Remus might not wake him until morning. 

Tonight was a lucky night. Remus was propped up on his pillows, holding a book in his hands and reading out loud to Sirius. It was a muggle fantasy book, with poorly depicted dragons and elves that were seven feet tall. Sirius was laying on his side, his body curled towards Remus, watching him read. 

He was doing a shit job of following the plot, but his attention was locked in on Remus. He was wearing a t-shirt, for once, and Sirius had a clear view of the scars littering his arms. Some of them were long and deep, while others were as thin as a papercut.  _ A car crash _ , Remus had told them, when Peter’s curiosity had got the better of him and he had asked Remus about them. 

Sirius hadn’t had trouble believing the car crash excuse until a few months ago when Remus had shown up on the first day of term with scars that weren’t there in June. And now, after leaving for a few days to visit his sickly Aunt, he’d returned with another new scar, still pink and sore-looking, running across his bicep.

Sirius knew what it was like to create excuse upon excuse as to where his injuries came from. He knew what it was like to fear telling anyone the truth. And really, all signs pointed to Remus suffering the same fate that he did. 

Sirius reached out unthinkingly, tracing the new scar on Remus’ arm. Remus stiffened slightly, shifting his arm out of Sirius’ reach, but continued with the story. 

“Sorry,” Sirius whispered, his eyes fluttering between Remus’ face and the scar. “Does it... does it hurt?” 

Remus looked down at him with wide eyes and then looked at the scar. Sirius could see his mind working as if he was trying to come up with a reason for its sudden appearance. “It’s a bit tender,” he whispered eventually, his eyes back on his book. “It’s fine.” 

“I know it wasn’t a car crash,” Sirius whispered, taking himself off guard with his own bluntness. Remus swallowed heavily and refused to look at Sirius. 

“It  _ was _ a car crash,” Remus argued.

“But you have new scars,” Sirius said, pointing to a few others that had appeared since Sirius had met him. “Unless you get in car crashes often?” 

Remus didn’t seem to have a response. His eyes were wide as he stared at his book, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. Sirius figured he might as well go all-in at this point. If nothing else, at least he could relate. 

“Your parents do this, right?” Sirius asked, pointing at the newest scar. “Hurt you?” 

Remus’ head whipped towards him at record speed, his mouth falling open. “No!” He shook his head. “No, oh- god no. I swear they would  _ never! _ ” 

“An uncle?” Sirius guessed. 

“No,” Remus shook his head. “No one’s- no one’s hurting me, I promise. My family loves me, Sirius.” 

He’d been so sure. So sure that Remus could relate. That someone else knew the pain. 

He rolled over onto his back, turning his face away from Remus so he couldn’t see the tears forming in his eyes. “Oh,” he said, his hand snaking under his own shirt to trace the small scar on his bottom rib. 

Remus was uncomfortably quiet. Not even the book moved. Sirius wished he would just jump back into the story and forget about it, but Sirius had clearly said too much. 

“Do yours?” Remus asked softly. Sirius whipped his head towards him. His eyes were soft and filled with a pity that Sirius never wanted to see again. 

“What?” He asked, his brain moving in slow motion. 

“Do your parents... hurt you?” 

Sirius turned his face to the ceiling, unable to hold Remus’ gaze. He wanted to say no, to keep it hidden away, shoved down so deep that even he forgot when he was away from them for too long. But he couldn’t lie to Remus. 

He nodded, taking a shaky breath. Remus’ own breath hitched and his hand fell to Sirius’ arm. 

“Sirius, I-”

“I just thought because, y’know, you were with your family last week, and then you got this that maybe, y’know, you too?” Sirius explained, eyes still on the ceiling. “Not that I’d  _ want _ that for you, I just...” 

“We have to tell McGonagall,” Remus said softly. Sirius’ heart dropped through the mattress and he was sitting up, his eyes locked on Remus’ with such an intensity he scared himself. 

“We  _ can’t _ ,” he stressed. “Remus, you can’t tell  _ anyone _ . You have to promise-” 

“They’re hurting you,” Remus said, trying to keep his voice calm and comforting. Sirius knew him too well, though, could hear the panic and the tears rising in his voice. “Sirius, we can get you out.” 

“No,” he shook his head. “Remus, no one can know-” 

“Why not?” Remus demanded. Sirius swallowed, looking down at his hands. They were clutching Remus’ wrists, holding their hands together in Remus’ lap.

“They,” Sirius started, hating himself. “They made me promise not to. They said if I did, then... then they’d hurt Reg really bad. And I- they don’t hurt Reg now, so they won’t take him away if they take me, but-” he took a shaky breath. “But then he’ll be alone and they’ll hurt him. I can’t- Remus,  _ please _ .” 

Remus was quiet for the longest minute of Sirius’ life. Eventually, after a few tears had fallen from both of their eyes, Remus seemed to find himself in the same predicament Sirius was in, and he nodded. “Okay. I won’t tell.” 

“Promise?” 

“I promise,” Remus whispered. Sirius relaxed his grip on Remus’ wrists, but Remus didn’t pull away. 

“How... how do I know you won’t tell?” Sirius asked, hating how pathetic his voice sounded. 

Remus chewed his bottom lip for a second, pain in his eyes. “I can tell you a secret too,” he suggested. “One that you can’t tell anyone either.” 

“Okay,” Sirius agreed, suddenly curious. He let go of one of Remus’ wrists, rubbing the tears off his cheeks. “Okay, what is it?” 

“You might hate me,” Remus whispered. “But you can’t tell even if you hate me.” 

“I won’t hate you,” Sirius assured him. “And if I tell your secret, then you can tell my secret. Deal?” 

Remus watched him for a long minute, his free hand at his mouth, his teeth pulling at the skin around his thumbnail. 

“I’m a werewolf.” 

“What?” Sirius asked dumbly, not sure if he’d actually heard Remus right. But even as Remus started to repeat himself, the pieces slotted together in Sirius’ mind and it made  _ so much sense.  _

“It’s okay if you hate me, just-” 

“I don’t!” Sirius very nearly yelled, grabbing Remus’ free hand again. “I don’t hate you.” His heart was in his throat, and maybe he was a little afraid, but it wasn’t necessarily because of the wolf. Maybe it was, but, he was more worried about what the wolf was doing to Remus’ body than what Remus could potentially do to Sirius’. 

“You... don’t?” Remus asked, a doubtful look in his eyes. Sirius shook his head, his eyes flitting over Remus’ scars again. 

“It makes so much sense,” he whispered, his eyes on the newest scar. “Do you have 

a bite scar?” 

Okay, so maybe that wasn’t the most appropriate question, but Sirius had never been one to think things through. Remus gave a startled laugh and lifted his shirt to reveal the bite mark on his stomach. 

“Woah,” Sirius whispered, abandoning all manners and reaching out to touch it. Remus watched him carefully, his stomach rising and falling in quick succession as Sirius’ fingers skirted over the scar. “How old were you?”

“Four,” Remus told him. Sirius’ heart sank at the revelation.  _ Four _ . It was... impossibly young. 

“What happened?” Sirius pushed, letting his hand fall from the scar. Remus swallowed, avoiding Sirius’ eyes. 

“My father made a werewolf called Greyback mad, and he bit me as revenge,” Remus explained, twisting his fingers together. “It was...” He stared at Sirius for a moment, as if debating something. “How old were you? The first time they...?” 

“Six,” Sirius whispered. “I was playing with a muggle boy at the park. Mother didn’t even care that I’d run away, just that I was near a muggle. There’s, uh,” he lifted his hand, feeling the scar over his left ear. “There’s a scar from that one here.” 

“You have scars too?” Remus asked quietly, his voice almost hopeful. 

“Yeah,” Sirius confirmed. “I have one here,” he pulled up his shirt to show the one on his ribs. “I was eight and Father found me trying to clog the toilet with pages from this anti-muggle book. And then there’s this,” he uncrossed his legs, pulling his sock down to show the jagged scar on the bottom of his foot. 

“That was from Christmas last year. I... am done pretending to believe what they believe. Mother had thrown a glass at me that broke, and then Father pushed me a few minutes later and I stepped on the glass,” he explained. 

“Oh, and this,” he grabbed Remus’ hand, bringing his fingers to the bone beneath his eye. “See how it’s all bumpy in that one part? Father hit me and it never healed properly because-” 

Remus was crying. Sirius trailed off, guilt clawing at his stomach. 

“I’m so sorry-” 

“No,” Remus shook his head. “Don’t be. We know each other’s secrets now, so we can talk about them with each other, okay?” 

“Okay,” Sirius whispered, letting go of Remus’ hand. “Does it hurt? The... when you turn into the werewolf?” 

“Yeah,” Remus nodded. “A lot. Really bad, cause all my bones break and stuff.” 

“That sounds worse than what Mother and Father do to me. Except one time Mother used a curse and that hurt real bad. Maybe that one felt like when you turn into the wolf.” 

“Maybe,” Remus breathed, staring at Sirius. “Thanks.” 

“For what?” 

“For not hating me,” Remus said, smiling softly. Sirius lunged forward, pulling him into a hug. 

“I’ll never hate you, Remus.” 

**May 1975; Age 15**

Sirius’ bed was better, it turned out, for reading. It was further away from the others, and it was less likely that James would throw the curtains open at three in the morning complaining that they were too loud. 

Sometimes, a few times a week maybe, Remus would end up crawling into Sirius’ bed. Usually, he’d read to him, but sometimes he would just throw his arm over Sirius and fall asleep. Sirius didn’t dare protest. 

About once a month Remus would sneak into his bed with tears in his eyes, mumbling something about a nightmare, and tuck his face into Sirius’ chest. 

Almost once a week he’d hear Sirius’ tears and slide into his bed, pulling Sirius to his chest instead. 

This week had been bad for Sirius, but he refused to tell Remus why. They’d spent their first full moon with Remus as animagi. It had gone spectacularly, Remus having been nearly uninjured by the time he woke up. It was the screams from the transformation that were keeping Sirius up. The raw pain that nearly sent him into a panic attack in the dirt tunnel under the Shack. 

Remus didn’t ask. Not even when he crawled into Sirius’ bed for the fourth time in six days. 

Tonight, however, Sirius hadn’t been crying, so he was slightly surprised when Remus climbed into his bed and got under the blankets. 

“Hi,” Sirius whispered, watching Remus carefully. It was so dark, he could barely make out any of Remus’ features, but there was a tiny light glinting off his cheek, leading Sirius to believe there might be tears there. “You okay?” 

“I have a secret,” Remus whispered. “But. But I need you to tell me a secret too, so I know you’ll keep it.” 

“Okay,” Sirius whispered, rolling over so he was face to face with Remus, their knees pressed together. “But you go first, cause I went first last time.” 

“Okay,” Remus breathed. He shifted, maybe wiping the tears from his eyes, and his elbow bumped into Sirius’. “I don’t think I fancy girls.” 

And really, it should have made sense because Remus had never given a girl a second glance. But it  _ didn’t  _ make sense because Sirius had told himself for so long that he was the only one. That no one else felt like that. That there was something wrong with him. 

“Your turn.” 

“I don’t think I fancy girls either,” Sirius admitted. Remus gasped quietly, shifting against Sirius’ pillow, their elbows knocking into each other again. “Does that count? Or do I have to come up with my own-” 

“That counts,” Remus said quickly. “I-  _ really? _ ” 

“Yeah,” Sirius confirmed, feeling nervous and thoroughly embarrassed, despite Remus having admitted the exact same thing.

“When did you know?” 

“I dunno,” Sirius muttered. “Maybe... well I never really understood James’ obsession with Evans. And I thought maybe I was just more interested in friends and stuff... But now I, er, I think I feel about boys how Jamie feels about Evans.” 

“Oh.” 

“What about you?” 

“I...” Remus trailed off before he even got started. He sniffled a few times and shifted around in the bed again. “Forever. But my Mum and Dad told me... well they didn’t even think I’d get to go to school, let alone have friends and  _ fancy _ people... So I guess when I was a little kid and i said I wanted a prince instead of a princess, the conversation wasn’t about being gay, it was about being a werewolf.” 

“Why, er, why are you bringing it up now?” Sirius asked, his heart breaking for Remus again. It wasn’t pity. It was never pity, but it was anger at how unfair the world was to him. Sirius couldn’t help but see how much potential Remus had. How smart he was. How passionate he was. How hot-

“Do you think...” Sirius had never heard him sound so insecure. “This sounds pathetic. Do you think people like...  _ blokes _ , I guess. Do you think blokes would ever want to like...  _ be with me _ ?” 

Sirius was going to kill Fenrir Greyback. If he ever saw that fucking  _ monster _ he was going to rip him apart just as Greyback had ripped Remus’ future from him. Just how he’d taken the boy’s confidence and obliterated it before it got a chance to let it form. 

“Yes, of course.” 

“But-” 

“Seriously, Moony, you’re fit. You’re smart. You’re hilarious. I don’t see why they wouldn’t.” 

“You’re just saying that cause you’re my best friend and you have to,” Remus argued weakly. Sirius watched him turn his face into the pillow.

“Remus, I’m saying that because I’m into blokes. Okay? I reckon half the blokes who are into blokes in this school are into you.” 

“Only half?” Remus asked, turning his face back to Sirius. It was still too dark to make out his expression, but Sirius could hear the hint of a smile. 

“Well the other half are into me, and I think we appeal to very different tastes,” Sirius pointed out.

“I don’t think so,” Remus muttered, sounding a bit tired as he scooted closer to Sirius, his head pressing under Sirius’ chin. “Not when you get down to it, at least. We’re both brooding and mysterious. We have the same thought process half the time. We do well in the same subjects. We both like the same things. The differences stop at surface level I think.” 

“You forgot the part where we’re both an emotional mess and were robbed of any semblance of a childhood,” Sirius pointed out. 

“Yeah,” Remus scoffed. “Because that’s the selling point on whether or not blokes are attracted to us.  _ Our trauma _ .” 

“Never know,” Sirius shrugged, threading his fingers in Remus’ hair and holding him close. “Someone might have a werewolf kink.” 

“Well no one has a child abuse kink,” Remus said, his hands splayed across Sirius’ back. “So that’s one point for me.” 

“That’s dark,” Sirius muttered, unable to hold back the laugh. 

“Gotta cope somehow,” Remus said, shrugging against him. “Night Sirius.” 

“Good night, Remus,” Sirius whispered. “Thanks for telling me.” 

“You too. Love you.” 

“Love you, too.”

**December 1977; Age 17 & 18**

It was definitely James’ fault. 

Well,  _ technically _ , it was Peter’s. But if James hadn’t been off snogging Evans, then he would have been in charge of being the lookout. Instead they were stuck with Peter, who, bless his soul, was an absolute shit lookout. 

Remus grabbed Sirius’ hand, dragging him around a corner as Filch chased after them, yelling something about hanging them from their ears in the dungeons until Christmas. Sirius followed Remus blindly, his shoes slapping hard against the stone beneath them. 

Filch, to his credit, was a fast bugger, even when he was covered in pink slime. Sirius had to hand it to him, since  _ he _ surely would have slipped and fallen on his face by now. Remus yanked him down another hallway, laughing loudly.

“Did you see his face?” Remus yelled, glancing over his shoulder. “I mean, not exactly what I was going for, but priceless!” 

“We’ll have to brew a new batch for the Slytherins though,” Sirius gasped, nearly tripping over his own feet. Remus yanked his arm hard, opening a cupboard door and pulling him in. 

He was shoved roughly against the wall, Remus’ hand over his mouth, their bodies pressed together in the small space. 

Sirius couldn’t breathe. He could feel every inch of Remus. His hair tickled at the side of his face, his fingers twitched against his lips, his heartbeat against Sirius’ chest, his restless knees knocking against his own as he tried to find a comfortable position to stand in. Sirius was going to die, surely. 

Either that or Remus was going to feel the situation growing in his pants if he kept fucking shifting like that. 

Sirius heard Filch muttering to himself as he ran by, and was thankful for the distraction. Remus turned his face into Sirius’ neck, his body shaking slightly from contained laughter.

Filch’s footsteps died out, and Remus snorted, letting his hand fall from Sirius’ mouth, moving to clutch the front of his shirt instead. Sirius couldn’t help the laugh that escaped, letting his head fall back against the wall.

“Merlin,” Remus laughed, his face still pressed into Sirius’ neck. “I thought he was going to catch us for sure.” 

“I think he’d actually hang us in the dungeons after that,” Sirius admitted, bringing one of his hands to clutch Remus’ wrist that was pressed against his chest. “I’m going to kill Peter.” 

Remus pulled back just far enough that they were face to face, but didn’t step back. The smile on his face was worth every second of pain Sirius had had to endure in his life to get to this moment. He felt high on it. He felt completely free.

“Secret for a secret?” Sirius asked, still laughing. Remus nodded, leaning heavily on his arm beside Sirius’ head, the other hand twisting further into Sirius’ shirt. “I’m in love,” he said, staring at Remus’ mouth as he said it. 

Remus was oblivious, but he hoped even  _ James _ could have picked up the hints he was laying down. Not to mention the giant one poking into Remus’ thigh. 

Remus grinned at him, another breath of laughter escaping his mouth. “Alright. I’m in love too,” he admitted, making Sirius’ head swim. “But since I don’t  _ steal _ other people’s secrets-”

“Oi!” 

“-I’ll take the next step and say I’m in love with  _ you _ .” Sirius barely had time to process Remus’ words before he was being hauled forward, Remus’ lips pressed against his. 

Sirius let go of his wrist, both of his hands moving up to thread through Remus’ hair as their lips slid against one another. Remus’ tongue was sliding into his mouth and Sirius couldn’t even process what was happening as his head hit the wall again, both of Remus’ hands planted on either side of his face. 

Remus’ lips moved to his jaw, giving Sirius a second to catch his thoughts. “I’m in love with you, too,” he gasped, pulling Remus’ hair until their lips were together again. Remus pushed his knee between Sirius’ legs, his thigh brushing up against Sirius’ erection, and Sirius moaned into Remus’ mouth. 

Remus pulled back, gazing down at Sirius with enough intensity to make Sirius feel self-conscious. 

“Godric, you’re fucking  _ gorgeous _ ,” Remus groaned, and then his mouth was on Sirius’ neck, sucking and biting and licking. His leg pushed harder against Sirius and Sirius gasped, gritting his teeth together, sure he was going to cum in his pants. 

“ _ Re- Remus, _ ” he gasped, trying to shift slightly, but Remus had him pinned. “Hang- hang on-  _ fuck _ \- Moons, wait-” 

“Sorry,” Remus said, taking a full step back. “You okay?” He looked so bloody confident, so sure of everything he was doing. Sirius was absolutely powerless to anything Remus did, and Remus knew it. 

“I-” he gasped in a breath of air, his brain slightly fuzzy from how  _ close _ he’d been from a knee against his prick. “I have- I have another secret.”

“Okay,” Remus whispered, leaning forward and pressing the softest kiss just below Sirius’ ear. “What is it?” 

“I- I haven’t done- anything. Ever. I-” 

“Oh?” Remus said, his nose rubbing under Sirius’ jaw, forcing his head to tilt just slightly, exposing his neck to Remus’ tongue. “You’ve never made out with anyone?” 

“Of course I have,” Sirius argued, just as Remus’ teeth grazed his pulse point. “I, I just-” 

“You haven’t done anything past that?” Remus asked. He didn’t sound disappointed. In fact, he’d moved his hands from beside Sirius’ face to grip his hips tightly. Sirius whimpered slightly and shook his head. 

“Wasn’t ready,” Sirius admitted. “I-” 

“Are you ready now?” Remus asked in a low voice. “You can say no. I’ll wait forever for you.” 

“I-” Sirius hesitated. “ _ Please _ ,” he whimpered. “Just- I don’t want to... don’t fuck me for the first time in a broom cupboard, yeah?” 

Remus laughed, cupping Sirius’ chin and directing his face to look at him. The look on his face was...  _ soft _ . Sirius didn’t think anyone had ever looked at him in that way. 

“We’ll take it slow,” Remus whispered, pressing a pillow-soft kiss to Sirius’ mouth. 

“Not too slow, I hope,” Sirius said, getting a bit of himself back. “I was dangerously close before, and I don’t  _ exactly  _ fancy either of us walking out of here with blue balls so...”

Remus rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “You’re going to be the death of me, Sirius Black.” 

**July 1980; Age 20**

“I have a secret,” Remus whispered in his ear, his arms tight around Sirius’ waist. Peter was sitting on the edge of Lily’s bed, cradling the tiny baby in his arms. 

“What’s that?” Sirius asked, staring down at his godson with wide eyes. He’d never felt anything like this. Never felt such immense joy. 

“I want a family,” Remus whispered, still too quiet for anyone else to hear. Sirius’ heart stuttered and he spun around to face Remus. 

“What?” 

“I know we can’t,” he said, not meeting Sirius’ eyes. “But seeing you hold him... I wish we could have that. You’d be an amazing father.” 

“I want that too,” Sirius told him, guiding his face to meet Sirius’ eyes. “My secret is less of a secret than a promise, but I’m going to make it happen one day. You want kids? We’ll have kids.” 

“Going to grow a uterus?” Remus teased, leaning forward and pressing his forehead to Sirius’. 

“You know that’s not what I mean,” Sirius groaned. “I’m going to work my arse off to get us that family, Remus.” 

“I’m content with our family just being this,” Remus told him.

“Let yourself want things,” Sirius said. “I’m going to make it happen. No way am I giving up a chance to see  _ Daddy Remus _ .” 

“Oi! Just because you’re two inches apart doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t hear you!” 

**October 1981; Age 21**

Remus was in the living room. Most likely curled up in the armchair with a cup of herbal tea and a book. Sirius didn’t know what he was reading. Remus never read to him anymore. Remus barely even said good morning before he was off doing whatever he was doing. 

Sirius’ eyes flitted to the photo of the four of them that sat on their dresser. James had his arms around Remus, laughing and pulling a face at the camera. Sirius was on Peter’s back, waving his arms wildly as Peter spun them in a circle. 

Peter was with James and Lily right now. Sirius knew because Sirius was supposed to be there. But how could he? He was the most obvious choice, he would be the target, regardless of if he knew the address or not. It was best that he didn’t, in case they caught him and tried to torture the information out of him. He couldn’t give up the secret if he didn’t even know it. 

He sighed, slinging his duffle bag over one shoulder and grabbed his leather jacket. They’d been dancing around this for weeks now. Months really. And Sirius couldn’t stay here any longer if Remus couldn’t prove he wasn’t...

He carried his stuff into the living room, dropping it to the floor next to the couch. Remus, who was in fact curled up in the armchair with a mug of tea and a book, didn’t look up. 

Sirius cleared his throat.

“I have a secret,” he said, the nerves in his stomach rolling hard enough to make him dizzy. 

Remus looked up then, a look of mild interest on his face, but it fell when he saw the bag at Sirius’ feet. 

“What is it?” He whispered, swallowing heavily. 

“I have a secret,” Sirius repeated. He could already hear the tears building in his throat. “But you need to tell me something in return. A secret for a secret.” 

Remus’ jaw clenched and he set his book down. 

“You know what I want to know, Remus,” Sirius said definitively. He wanted to crawl into the other man’s arms and tell him it would be alright, that they could get past this, but the cards were in Remus’ hands now. 

“I can’t tell you that, Sirius,” Remus said, his tone void of any emotion. Sirius scoffed and picked up his bag. 

“Right,” he said, his voice shaking. “Fine. You can keep the flat. It’s paid for until the end of next year, so-” 

“Sirius,” Remus was on his feet, following him to the door. “Wait, don’t-  _ please _ .” 

“Tell me where you’re going,” Sirius said shortly, turning to face him. He looked completely  _ shattered _ , but Sirius surely felt worse. 

“I can’t,” he sobbed, tears falling from his eyes. “Please, you have to trust me-” 

“I can’t,” Sirius shot back, walking out the front door. “I can’t trust you, Remus. I’m sorry, but this is over.” 

“Sirius-” 

Sirius slammed the door in his face, just before his own tears started falling. 

**November 1981; Age 21 & 22**

“I had a secret, Moons,” Sirius whispered, staring at the full moon out the tiny window of his cell. “What was your secret, huh? Was it worse than making a choice that killed your best friends? Was it worth it? Keeping it from me? Was it worth not hearing mine? Because if you had just bothered to  _ listen _ -” 

“Stop talking to yourself, Black. You’re worse than your wretched cousin!” 

**Fifteen Full Moons, Give or Take; Age Unimportant**

“I have a secret, Remus Lupin,” Sirius told the moon. “I still trusted you. I didn’t want to leave you. I don’t care where you were going. If I had told you, we would have worked past it. I don’t-” 

“Black! If you don’t shut the fuck up I’m unlocking Greyback’s cell and setting the bloody wolf on you!” 

**Not A Full Moon; Age Unfortunately Still Gaining**

Sirius woke to a soft blue light filling his cell. It was coming from the hall, where a figure sat against the wall, a canine-like Patronus hovering beside them. 

Sirius laughed. “Great, I’m finally seeing things.”

“You’re not seeing things,” Remus replied, his voice gravelly. “I’m here.” 

Sirius didn’t know why, but he was filled with anger and bitterness. He sat up quickly, stalking over to the cell door, and sat down in front of it, only a few feet from Remus. “Why are you here?” 

“Nice to see you, too,” Remus scoffed, playing with his fingers. Sirius said nothing. Part of him wanted to tell Remus everything, but Remus had come here for a reason. “Your Mother died.” 

“You came all the way here to tell me  _ that _ ?” Sirius said, rolling his eyes. 

“Thought you’d appreciate the good news,” Remus shrugged, smiling slightly. Emotions crashed over Sirius like a tidal wave, and he was sobbing, his head pressed against the bars in front of him. “What was your secret?” 

“I asked you first,” Sirius whispered, not able to meet Remus’ eyes. 

“Dumbledore had me working with werewolves. He told me not to tell anyone. And I didn’t want you to be worried.” 

Sirius wanted to laugh, really, the whole situation was absurd. But he was angry at himself for not telling Remus anyway. Even angrier at Dumbledore for sending Remus out there like that.

“What was your secret?” Remus repeated.

“We thought that-” Sirius could barely catch his breath. “I was the obvious choice for secret keeper, and-” he wanted to watch Remus’ reaction, but he couldn’t lift his head. “We thought if we made someone else secret keeper and- and then they would still come after me, but I wouldn’t know so- so even-” 

“So even if they tortured you, you wouldn’t be able to tell them?” Remus finished for him. He was closer now, maybe only a foot from Sirius’ cell, but Sirius still couldn’t bring himself to look up. “Who was it?” 

“Peter,” Sirius sobbed, slamming his head against the bars. He heard Remus flinch, the light from his Patronus flickering for a second. 

“That’s why you killed him,” Remus breathed, so close now that Sirius was forced to look up. Remus’ eyes were shining with both understanding and pain. His knees were nearly touching the bars. A few more inches and their knees would be touching each other’s. 

“I didn’t,” Sirius shook his head. “I- he’s not dead.” 

“You killed him,” Remus said slowly. “And twelve muggles, Sirius, what were you-” 

“He blew the street up,” Sirius sobbed. “And then the fucking rat cut his finger off and transformed. He set us up. He set  _ me _ up.” 

Remus didn’t say anything, but the broken look on his face answered any doubt Sirius might have had about Remus believing him. 

“I have a secret,” Remus whispered, reaching through the bars slowly and cupping Sirius’ cheek. It was too much. Overwhelming to the point Sirius almost couldn’t handle it. This might be his last chance though, so he would take it, allow it to consume him. “I never thought you betrayed them. I never stopped trusting you. I’ve been trying to get in here for  _ years _ .” 

_ Years _ . 

“How-” he wiped at his eyes. “How old is Harry?” 

“You don’t...” Remus trailed off, looking down the long hall. “Seven, I think.” 

“You think?” Sirius asked, his voice breaking. “Where-” 

“Dumbledore sent him to Lily’s sister-” 

“No,” Sirius shook his head. “You- you have to get him out of there, Remus. Why isn’t he with you?” 

“I’m a werewolf, Sirius,” Remus said carefully. “You know why I can’t have a child living with me.” 

“Did you try?” Sirius sobbed, pressing his face into Remus’ hand.

“I got my fifth adoption rejection in the mail yesterday,” Remus whispered. “Thought I was going to get another visitation rejection for you, too, but they- they approved it. Probably just to shut me up, but-” 

“Find Peter,” Sirius whispered. “Find him, and then I’ll be out of here, and we’ll get Harry back, okay?” 

“Okay,” Remus whispered. He turned to the end of the hall and nodded at someone Sirius couldn’t see. “I have to go.” 

“No-” 

Remus pulled him forward, pressing their lips together awkwardly, the bars digging into their cheeks. “I love you.” 

“I love you, too,” Sirius whispered, his heart shattering as Remus got up to leave, taking his Patronus with him. The hallway descended into darkness, and for a moment Sirius thought it was all a dream. 

But then the chill set in, and the Dementors floated towards his cell and Sirius didn’t have the strength to push the memory of Remus’ lips from his mind before they reached him.

**Why Count Full Moons? Age Too High**

The blue light was blinding, at least four Patronuses in front of his cell. He wasn’t able to make out the figure in the center of them, but he knew the voice. 

“I’ve got a secret.” 

“It was Peter,” he gasped, launching himself from his cot and running for the bars. “Moons, you gotta believe me. It was Peter. I switched with him and-” 

“Pads,” Remus said softly. Hands closed over his on the bars and Sirius flinched back, but Remus held him steady. “Peter was just arrested for betraying them and killing all those muggles. You’re safe. I’m going to take you home, okay?” 

Sirius couldn’t believe it. Remus- how could he have known? How could he have figured it out? 

“What?” he asked weakly, trying to meet Remus’ eyes but the Patronuses were still too bright. “How-?

“Hey,” Remus said, his thumbs brushing over the back of Sirius’ hands. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere, okay? You’re a free man, Sirius.” Remus moved to let go, but Sirius whimpered, an embarrassing sound falling from his mouth. “Honey, I gotta let go so you can walk out of there, okay? It’ll only be a second, and I’ll stay this close the whole time okay?” 

“Remus,” he whimpered, shaking his head. 

“I promise it’ll be just for a second,” Remus said. “And then I won’t let you go again until I have to take a massive dump.” 

Sirius gave a shocked laugh, barely noticing that Remus had removed his hands. He only had a split second to panic, before Remus’ arm way around his shoulder, and he was guiding him from the cell. 

“I’m dreaming,” Sirius whispered as he stared down the long hall of cells.

“Pretty good dream for Azkaban, no?” Remus said softly, steering him down the hall. The Patronuses ran ahead of them, steering off any Dementors that might have been lurking in the shadows. There were at least five other people with them, but Sirius didn’t care. All that mattered was that Remus was holding him. Remus knew he was innocent. Hell, the whole world knew he was innocent.

“Fucking crazy,” someone muttered behind them, and Sirius felt Remus tense. “Doesn’t even remember-” 

“I’d shut your fucking mouth,” Remus advised cooly. He led Sirius down the winding hallways and a few long staircases until he was standing outside in freezing cold sea air. “Here,” Remus said, taking off his jacket and wrapping it around Sirius. “Better?” 

Sirius couldn’t do anything except sniffle as Remus helped him into a small boat. He sat him on the floor, sliding in behind him, his legs on either side of Sirius’ body. Sirius leaned back into his chest, still not understanding what was happening. But Remus was holding him and they were leaving that godforsaken prison and that was all that mattered. 

It took forever to get across the water, though Sirius had little to no concept of time anymore, so it could have taken a mere five minutes. They got to the shore, the other people, none of whom Sirius recognized, getting out first. Remus stood carefully, helping Sirius to his feet. Embarrassingly, his legs gave out from beneath him, but Remus was quick to scoop him up, cradling him to his chest. 

Sirius wanted to feel ashamed, to protest that he could, in fact, walk, but he knew better than that. He knew Remus better than to assume the man would let him try to walk again.

“Can I-” 

“Don’t come near him,” Remus snapped, carrying Sirius past most of the men. The last one was holding a plastic bag, which Sirius took with shaky hands. He could see his leather jacket inside, and assumed the rest of his possessions were there as well. 

Once Sirius had the bag tucked safely in his arms, Remus carried him away from the others without another word to them. “Okay love,” he said softly. “Gonna take us home, alright?” 

“I trust you,” Sirius whispered, turning his face into Remus’ chest. Remus apparated them home, carrying Sirius into the flat he had walked out of... a long time ago. “How old am I?” Sirius asked as Remus set him down on the couch. 

“Twenty-eight in a few days,” Remus said softly. There was a sound in the kitchen, and someone came running into the living room. 

“Oh, Sirius.” 

Sirius nearly fell off the couch in his haste to see if he really had heard the voice right. McGonagall was standing in the doorway of the kitchen, Madam Pomfrey visible over her shoulder, bustling with medicines in the kitchen.

“Hi Minnie,” he said weakly, falling back onto the couch. “How many- what’s the date, Remus?” 

“October thirty first,” Remus said softly. Sirius’ heart broke. “Hey, no tears. We got something good out of the day, right?” 

Sirius hummed, but couldn’t bring himself to say anything else. Madam Pomfrey came out of the kitsch, carrying a number of bottles in her hands, and kneeled down beside the couch. She set the bottles on the coffee table and turned to him, brushing the hair back from his forehead.

“Let’s get you sorted dear.” 

**November 1987; Age 27 & 28**

“Happy Birthday,” Remus said, setting a cup of coffee in front of him. Sirius took it with shaky hands, twisting his mouth into a foreign shape, hoping it resembled a smile. 

“Thank you,” Sirius whispered. “Big surprise party tonight, I’m sure?” 

“Oh yeah,” Remus agreed, leaning across the counter. “Loads of people. Us, Minnie, Poppy, that one bloke I hooked up with a few years ago that I forgot his name... It’ll be wild.” 

“Let’s invite Petunia too,” Sirius teased. “Maybe we can finally see our godson.” 

“And her awful husband,” Remus added. Sirius shook his head and took another sip of his coffee. “I do have a surprise for you.” Remus pulled a letter out of his pocket and handed it to Sirius. 

He set his coffee cup down and took the letter. He started to read it, but the letters swam in front of his eyes and a sharp pain blossomed in his skull. “Can you read it to me?” He asked, handing it back. “I haven’t read in six years.” 

“Course,” Remus said easily. “Dear Mister Black. We have received word from Healer Poppy Pomfrey that you have successfully passed the examination to determine whether you are still fit to be the legal guardian of your godchild. We offer our congratulations. We would advise, however, that you discuss the transfer of guardianship with Mister Harry Potter before taking him from his temporary placement with his Aunt and Uncle.” 

“Oh, thank fuck,” Sirius groaned, dropping his head to the table. 

“In addition, we would like to confirm that we have added Mister Remus Lupin as Harry Potter’s second legal guardian, granting him the same permissions and authorities that you have. Normally, this would not be allowed in such cases, but the Ministry of Magic has failed you, and we would like to make things a little easier for your family.”

“Wait,  _ what? _ ” Sirius asked, lifting his head. “They let you be legal guardian?” 

“Problem?” 

“No! I just- Merlin’s beard, Remus. I never thought-” 

“You’re telling me,” Remus laughed, smiling down at the letter. 

“How soon can we get him?” Sirius asked, grabbing Remus’ hand. 

“Well,” Remus said quietly. “The moon’s in two days, so maybe we should wait? Plus it might be nice to send Petunia a letter before we just show up at her house.” 

“Good point,” Sirius agreed. “Saturday then? Or do you need more rest?” 

“I think I’ll be alright,” Remus said. “I have you back with me. Should be a breeze.” 

“Perfect,” Sirius said. “Let’s write good ol’ Tunny and tell her we’ll be taking him back on Saturday.” 

They spent the rest of the day lounging around the living room, as Sirius was still too weak to move very far, and the impending full moon was taking a toll on Remus. Remus read to him from a muggle novel he was in the middle of. It was a science fiction novel, something that Sirius couldn’t quite wrap his head around, but he hung onto Remus’ every word. 

They ate pizza for dinner and had way too much firewhiskey. It was alright, laughing and trading memories until the alcohol had hit too hard, and there were tears mixed in and dark confessions of their years apart. 

“I have a secret,” Remus had said to him, his cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth. They were laying on their backs in the middle of the floor, the empty firewhiskey bottle between them.

Remus looked stunning, one arm stretched above his head, the other splayed across his bare stomach, his shirt hanging wide open. His cheeks were pink from the alcohol, lips slightly swollen from their kisses, eyes closed, face turned towards Sirius. 

“I suppose I have one for you too,” Sirius told him, watching every twitch of his muscles. “Go ahead.” 

“I tried to kill myself a few years ago,” Remus told him, keeping his eyes closed. “I couldn’t wrap my head around what had happened and I was so alone.” 

This didn’t surprise Sirius, but only because he had seen the startlingly straight scars down Remus’ arms that looked so much more precise than the rest. He hadn’t asked, hadn’t even given Remus any hint that he noticed them. 

“What happened?” 

“Did you know that transforming actually heals any active injuries that I’ve got?” Remus whispered. “I transformed and the wolf had healed. I guess. Because when I woke up, they were already scarred.” 

“You did it on a moon?” Sirius asked, reaching up to tangle one of his hands with Remus’ above their heads. “Why?”

“I had myself convinced if I was that close to dying, maybe I wouldn’t transform,” Remus whispered. “But I reckon I just wanted to go out feeling something.” 

“That’s a fucked up secret,” Sirius said, bringing his other hand up to cover their joined ones. Remus laughed, opening his eyes and smiling at Sirius. “My turn?” Remus nodded. “Okay. Er, I didn’t have one prepared, give me a moment.” 

“Somehow that feels like cheating,” Remus told him. Sirius rolled his eyes. 

“Fine, I  _ also _ tried to kill myself,” Sirius told him. 

“That’s copying. You always copy!” Remus argued, watching him softly. 

“Well I don’t have  _ that  _ many secrets from you,” Sirius pointed out. “It’s not my fault you’ve barely given me space since we were eleven.” 

“I was under the impression you liked that.” 

“Oh, believe me, I do,” Sirius smiled. Remus’ hand shifted under his, moving so he was pining both of Sirius’ beneath his. It wasn’t sexual, for now, at least, it was there to ground Sirius to the moment, something he’d found himself needing more and more.

“In Azkaban?” Remus asked softly. 

“No, actually,” Sirius said. “Summer before sixth year.” 

“What?” Remus propped himself up on his elbow, his body turned towards Sirius. 

“Was gonna-” he made a squelching sound, pretending to draw something across his neck. “But Reg came in. Let me tell you, I have never felt like a worse brother. He grabbed my wand from my hand and just like... held me down for a while. Told me he’d follow me if I tried it again.” 

Remus didn’t say anything, only stared down at him with wide eyes.

“Well don’t fucking pity me,” Sirius said, suddenly defensive. “I’m not pitying you for what you said!” 

“I don’t pity you, love,” Remus whispered, leaning forward and pressing his mouth to Sirius’. “I’m just glad we got second chances.” 

“I reckon we’re both on at least chance three, here, if not four,” Sirius pointed out. “This one better stick.” 

“It will,” Remus told him, smiling. “We’re going to get Harry, and we’re going to be happy.” 

  
  


**December 1987; Age 7 & 27 & 28 **

“Surprised he hasn’t come to wake us up yet,” Remus whispered, pressing his face into Sirius’ arm. “Aren’t kids supposed to be up at the crack of dawn on Christmas?” 

“He’s probably trying to cook breakfast again,” Sirius snorted. “Sorry, it’s not funny. It’s just ironic that I’m a second away from grounding our kid for doing too many chores.” 

“I don’t smell anything cooking,” Remus said. “He definitely hasn’t turned the coffee pot on yet.” 

“What do you suppose his Christmases were like at the Dursleys’?” Sirius asked, rubbing at his eyes and yawning. “I’m sure that cousin of his was a nightmare.” 

“Godric, he’d be awful,” Remus groaned. “He probably stole half of Harry’s gifts.” 

“Shithead,” Sirius murmured. “Right, shall we go see what he’s up to, then?” 

They got up quietly, pulling on a pair of Christmas-y pyjamas. Sirius grabbed a Father Christmas hat and pulled it on his head. He had an elf hat for Remus and a pair of reindeer antlers for Harry. 

After they were dressed, they headed straight for Harry’s room, whose door was still shut. Normally he was out of his room by this time. Sirius shot Remus a confused look and knocked on the door. 

“Come in!” Harry called, sounding startled. 

Remus pushed the door open with a smile. Harry was sitting on his bed, a book in his lap. “Good morning,” Remus said, walking over to Harry’s bed and sitting on the edge. “Happy Christmas.” 

“Happy Christmas, Remus,” Harry said, before turning to Sirius. “Happy Christmas, Sirius.” 

“Happy Christmas, love,” Sirius said, walking over to them and putting the antlers on Harry’s head. He smiled widely, reaching up to touch them. “There, now you look just like your Dad.” 

“Really?” Harry asked, his eyes going wide. Remus nodded, brushing some of the hair off Harry’s forehead. 

“Really, really,” he confirmed. “Are you ready for presents?” 

“Presents?” Harry asked, his eyes wide and confused, head tilted to the side. “I- do you need help handing them out?” 

“If you want,” Sirius said, holding his arms out. “C’mon, let’s go see what Father Christmas brought you.” 

“He- he brought a gift for  _ me _ ?” Harry asked, looking unsure. 

“Of course he did,” Sirius confirmed. “Harry there’s so many presents for you under the tree you won’t even be able to count them all!” 

Harry looked more and more uncomfortable, staring down at his fingers. “Are you just kidding?” 

“Why would he be kidding, Harry?” Remus asked softly, his hand on the boy’s cheek. Harry had tears in his eyes and a guilty look on his face when he looked back up. 

“Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon said that I didn’t get presents because I wasn’t a good kid like Dudley. Cause they said I was a freak.” 

Not for the first time in the nearly two months since he’d been with them, Sirius was about ready to commit a double homicide. 

“Harry,” Remus said softly. “What did I tell you about why your Aunt and Uncle weren’t nice to you?” 

“They’re scared of magic cause it killed Mum and Dad, and cause they don’t understand it,” Harry said, his bottom lip quivering. 

“That’s right,” Remus said. “Did that give them the right to treat you bad?” 

“No,” Harry shook his head. 

“And?” 

“And I people should be nice to me and treat me good,” Harry told him. “And I’m allowed to be happy and ask for things if I want them and I won’t get in trouble.” 

“You are so smart,” Remus told him, before leaning in and pressing a kiss to Harry’s head. “I am so proud of you, and I love you so much.” 

“Hey,” Sirius cut in. “I’m proud and I love you too, but there’s a whole bunch of presents under the tree that need to be opened. Ready?” 

“Okay!” Harry agreed, climbing off the bed and scrambling out of the room. He started yelling about the number of presents when he reached the living room. 

“He’s okay now,” Sirius whispered, pressing a kiss to Remus’ temple. “And I reckon you’ve got enough presents for him to make up for all the years he didn’t get any.” 

Remus nodded, taking Sirius’ hand in his. “Love you.” 

“I love you too,” Sirius said, pulling Remus to his feet. “C’mon, I haven’t had Christmas in six years either.” 

Harry was clearly uncomfortable with the number of presents he’d received, but Sirius couldn’t bring himself to feel bad. He loved  _ every  _ gift, even the small stocking stuffers they’d gotten him, like a new toothbrush. It was hard to tell what his actual favourite was until he unwrapped the toy broomstick they’d signed from Father Christmas.

“A broom!” He squealed, holding it up for them to see. “Look!” 

“Wow,” Remus said, inspecting it closely. “That’s just what you asked for!” 

“I didn’t think he’d get my letter,” Harry whispered. “I thought it’d get lost in the mail like it usually does.” 

“Oh,” Sirius said. “I made sure to hand-deliver it to him. He was very upset to learn your letters hadn’t been reaching him.”

“He was?” Harry asked with big eyes.

“Of course,” Remus assured him. “He wants all kids to get what they want for Christmas.”

“Not the bad ones,” Harry mumbled, picking up the next present with his name on it. 

“Are you sure?” Sirius asked. “Because I’m sure that cousin of yours got a lot of presents every year from him.” 

“Sirius!” 

Harry laughed loudly, looking up at Sirius. “You’re right,” he agreed. “Father Christmas brings the bad kids  _ all _ the presents they want.” 

“Are you saying he didn’t bring you everything you wanted?” Remus teased. Harry shook his head, unwrapping the leather jacket they’d bought him. Remus hadn’t been sure he’d wear it, until he’d found Harry running around the house wearing Sirius’ more than once. 

“No, you guys bought me things too,” Harry said. “Thank you for buying me presents. You didn’t have to-” 

“Listen here,” Sirius said, cutting him off before he could start spewing any more bullshit Petunia had put in his head. “My entire job is to spoil you, okay? Your parents knew that when they made me your godfather, and I’ve got six years to make up for it. So you better get used to it.” 

Sirius made them chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. He insisted it was for Harry, but he knew they were Remus’ favourite. He took his seat next to Remus, slinging his legs over Remus’ lap. 

“I have a secret,” he said, holding a forkful of pancakes in Remus’ face. Remus rolled his eyes, but opened his mouth, allowing Sirius to feed him. 

“What?” He asked, his words muffled by the food.

“Don’t talk with your mouthful!” Harry said, through his own mouthful of food. Sirius laughed, hiding his face with his sleeve. 

“Ah yes, my manners,” Remus laughed, wiping his mouth. “What’s the secret?” 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy,” Sirius admitted. “I know we’ve lost a lot, but every other time I’ve felt euphorically happy like this, there’s always something terrible going on in the background. All I feel is happiness now.” 

“I’m happy too,” Harry agreed, smiling up at them with chocolatey teeth. 

“I have a secret too,” Remus said softly, his hand rubbing Sirius’ shin. Sirius stared at him expectantly. “I feel like all my dreams have come true.” Butterflies fluttered in Sirius’ stomach at his words.

“I had a dream last night!” Harry said excitedly. “It was about a tree that could talk  _ and  _ walk! His name was King Branch. And he was married to King Wave! King Wave was a river but he could also talk!”

Remus’ nose pressed against the side of his head, his lips ghosting over Sirius’ ear. “I don’t even  _ want  _ to know how their sex works.” 

**August 1988; Age 8 & 28**

“Pads!”

Sirius turned around to find Harry bouncing on the spot right behind him, something clenched between his fists. Remus stood behind him in the doorway, a soft smile on his face. His eyes were trained on Harry. 

“Harry!” 

“I have a secret from Moony!” Harry announced, shaking whatever was clutched in his hands. It didn’t make a noise. “But you gotta tell me one back, okay?” 

Sirius smiled, looking up at Remus, who was trying to contain a large smile but wouldn’t meet Sirius’ eyes. 

“Well, alright, what is it?” 

Harry giggled and opened his hands. Inside was a red velvet box. “Moony wants you to marry him!” 

Sirius’ heart jumped into his throat and he looked back at Remus, who had finally decided to meet his gaze. “Is that so?” 

“Yep!” Harry said at the same time Remus gave a shy nod. “Your turn for the secret, Pads!” 

“Alright,” Sirius said. “Well, my secret is that I love Remus very, very, very much- three verys, that’s important, okay? And you tell him that I would love to marry him!” He looked up at Remus as he said the last part, both of their faces splitting into wide grins. 

“Okay!” Harry said, running back to Remus. “Moony! Sirius has a secret too!” 

“What is it?” Remus asked, crouching down. 

“He says he loves you very, very, very much,” he started, counting out the three ‘verys’ on his fingers. “And that he wants to marry you too!” 

“Should we give him the ring, then?” Remus asked. Sirius walked over to them, bringing his hand to the back of Harry’s head as he crouched next to him. Harry nodded, handing the box to Remus, who opened it carefully. 

The band was simple and black, with three tiny diamonds embedded into it. Remus took it out with shaking fingers and Sirius offered him his hand with a smile. He held Harry close as Remus slipped the ring onto his finger. 

“Are those us?” Harry asked, pointing to the diamonds. Remus laughed, reaching out to cup Harry’s face.

“Sure are,” he confirmed. Harry smiled to himself and then squirmed away from their hold. 

“Bye, have fun kissing!” He said, running out of the room. Sirius sat on the ground and pulled Remus to meet him in a kiss. 

“Yes, I’ll have a symbolic wedding with you,” Sirius said, running his thumb over Remus’ cheek. Remus raised his eyebrow, mischief in his eyes. “What?” 

“What makes you think it won’t be a real wedding?” Remus asked, pulling his lip into his mouth. 

“There are at least two laws preventing us from doing that, love,” Sirius whispered sadly. Remus kept smiling. 

“The Ministry owes you a lot,” Remus shrugged. “Or do you not want to have the first gay werewolf  _ legal _ wedding?” 

“They’re not going to throw  _ two  _ marriage laws out the window just because they locked me away without a trial,” Sirius pointed out. “Sorry, I’m not trying to-” 

“Sirius,” Remus whispered, his hand sliding to the side of Sirius’ neck. “They  _ are _ going to throw two marriage laws out the window. In fact, I’ve persuaded them to throw the one out the window permanently. They’re going to make an exception for me just this once, they’re not ready to give up on the whole anti-werewolf-” 

“What?” Sirius whispered, not quite following. “I- we can get married?” His voice cracked horrendously when he said it. 

“Yeah,” Remus confirmed, dropping his hand to play with the ring on Sirius’ finger. “That’s why I asked you. That alright?” 

“Alright-  _ Remus _ ,” Sirius said, pulling him back in for another kiss. “I love you.” 

“I love you, too,” Remus laughed. “Can I tell you a secret?” 

“I suppose,” Sirius nodded, letting Remus pull him into his lap. 

“I’m so happy. I’m so happy to be alive, and to be with you, and to have Harry,” Remus said. 

“I’m going to copy your secret,” Sirius told him. Remus rolled his eyes, opening his mouth to protest. “Oi! Except I don’t reckon it’s much of a secret that I’m the happiest man in the world.” 

“Are not!” Remus protested, shoving his shoulder. “I am!” 

“No it’s definitely me!” Sirius argued, shoving him back. Remus grabbed his wrists, shoving him backwards onto the floor. “Oi-”

“We’re not arguing this-” 

“Fuck off!” 

“You’re so bloody annoying sometimes-” 

Sirius leaned up, pressing his mouth to Remus’ to silence him. “Actually,” he said, pulling back. “I hope that Harry is the happiest man in the world.” 

Remus groaned, hiding his face in Sirius’ neck. “You’re going to make me cry.”

“Oh yeah? What if I hide all your tea? And rip your books-” 

“I don’t want to marry you anymore.” 

“Too bad, I already agreed,” Sirius laughed. Remus pulled back, looking down at him  with a soft look. “No more mushy shit,” Sirius warned. 

Remus looked like he was going to argue, but then he smiled, pressing a chaste kiss to Sirius’ mouth. “Okay,” he agreed, getting up and leaving Sirius on the floor.

“Wait!” Sirius called after him, scrambling to his feet. “What were you going to say?” 

“Nothing,” Remus teased, his voice coming in from the living room. “You didn’t want to hear it!”

“Remus!” 

“It’s a secret, Sirius!” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Have a wonderful day <3


End file.
